So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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