wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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