thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
