So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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