Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I bet he comes in French.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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