is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
