I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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