I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Is it penis luge time yet?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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