party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize