Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
