we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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