He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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