We won't sleep together?
You work out of a Hotel?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
