We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
