Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
