He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
