I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
