it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
