OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize