You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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