I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize