I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
