Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
