is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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