okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
