he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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