You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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