Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
