Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
