doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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