wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
