these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
