My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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