i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
