WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
the liver wants what the liver wants
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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