If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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