using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize