I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
