also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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