Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize