I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
