his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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