just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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