Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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