Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
