I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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