The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Congratulations! We have a period
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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