we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
