I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize