I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
