this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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