Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You pole danced in your parka.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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