Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize