Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
