take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
