You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
