thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
