I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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