The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
