I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
