the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
