You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize