What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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