I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
