Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
