Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
