When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
