he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
