It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
