And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
