after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
this will be a night to untag.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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