writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
