I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
